I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
