im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
