I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
