i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
