put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
birth control should be required to get into college
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
