Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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