what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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