Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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