actually, I'm a sock model
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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