apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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