fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
sex in a hospital.. check
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
