Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The Olympian is in my bed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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