listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
