:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
