I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
