Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
