My friends, they love my intelligence
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
