I can't breathe out the right side of my face
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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