Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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