My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
