ugly people sure do ruin things
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
