so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
tell your sister to shave her snatch
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
