pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
