Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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