When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
