You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
