this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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