they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
