One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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