Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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