I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
