before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize