she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
