did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Randomize
