I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
