awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
