jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
