I must be too annoying 4 u.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
