you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
