whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
