Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
