What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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