I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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