You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
