Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
And then he peed in my hair
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