you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
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