it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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