What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like eating out sand paper
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize