In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
