Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
