remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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