she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
