your thong is hanging out like whoa
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
