there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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