There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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