Life is so much better after having sex.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
