You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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