They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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