im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
