She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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