Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
is wine microwaveable?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
