i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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