Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
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